Happy birthday, baby.

[bouldersandbrews]

Dear Raisin,

Happy birthday :-) Today would have been the day I held you in my arms for the first time. Today would have been the day you met Mommy and Daddy, these odd people you'd been listening to for nine months. You would have seen the woman who was singing to you and talking to you all the time, the man who spoke to you and told you all sorts of wonderful interesting things. Today would have been the day you received a name - Catherine or James, depending on which suited you better. Today would have been the day you would have joined our little family.

But that ended up not being the case. Today is a sad day for Mommy, instead. Today is a day that she remembers seeing you far too soon. Today is a day where I can only think of you and mourn you. I can't see you today. I can't see my son or daughter today, a day which was supposed to be a happy occasion - the happiest of occasions.

I don't know what went wrong, sweetie. I don't know what happened, what caused you to leave me so soon. I don't know. But I know that I miss you. I know that I still think about you, still talk about you. I know that with every baby I see, I wonder what you would have been like. Would you have had green eyes like me, or blue ones like your daddy? Would you have liked video games or basketball better? Would you have wanted Hayden to teach you parkour? Would you have liked shopping with Lindsay?

Sadly, we don't get to meet each other anytime soon. But maybe someday we will, and I'll finally get to see my baby, my little Raisin child.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Love,
Mommy

Comments

[abbie (from livejournal.com)]

I wish I could give you a hug right now. Lots of love coming from Maryland.

[dauthi.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon :-)