(no subject)

[bouldersandbrews]

Not to mention my mother.

Okay. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Let's say that she really had no idea what my dad was when she married him.

Problem A - five-year-olds don't lie about being molested. They're too young to know what they're talking about. I mean come on here.

So she should have figured out that something was wrong at this point. Again, five-year-olds might lie, but not about sex. But again, let's say that she did honestly think I was lying. It's a stretch but theoretically possible, if not plausible.

Problem B - If I had been lying at five, once Mom ignored me, I let it go for three years. Then when I came across another adult figure I thought I could trust - my guidance counselor - at eight years old and told her, I obviously wasn't letting this go.

I suppose it's theoretically possible that she thought I was just clinging to the lie. But really? If I had been lying, wouldn't I have been stridently vocal about it? I mean, why make up a lie, try it out once, then once more three years later? This makes no sense to me.

But again, let's say, for the sake of argument, that she still truly believed I was lying.

Problem C - the court and CPS believed that I was telling the truth. Enacted a restraining order against him. Sent him to prison for the second time. They don't do this if the kid's story doesn't check out.

And she brought him right back into the house.

Frankly, I think her story of "I just didn't know what to believe" is bullshit. I mean, how could you not know? If you even suspected, how could you not check it out? Jail time is a matter of public record - she could have found out that way if she didn't know. Much less asked her freaking mother-in-law or any of the rest of the family. You know?

No, the facts being what they are, I was sacrificed on the altar of her need to be taken care of. Wanting to be taken care if, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. I want Dave to take care of me. But if he doesn't, or can't, I can and will take care of myself. If we run out of coffee, I can go to the grocery store myself and get more coffee. My mother couldn't. At least, not without my father either going with her or at least telling her that she needed to.

None of this is really news to me. I just thought of it in a different way, and I don't like it.