bouldersandbrews | .............

So the last week has been delightful and blissful. I could go through a daily play-by-play type thing. There's ultimately no point, though - we hung out all day and most of the night, then David would drive me home and we'd spend an hour in the car in my driveway saying goodnight, and I'd manage to catch about six hours of sleep before it'd be time to go again - whether briefly to work or over to Jason and Melanie's with David.

We talked. We drove around. We played games. We watched movies. We held each other. We talked some more. I would rather have done that than done anything else, with anyone else.

And now I'm wondering how on earth I seriously thought that a long distance relationship would be a good idea. I'm in agony here - David's on the plane leaving, going three thousand miles away, and I'm sitting here in front of the computer, seriously expecting him to pull into the driveway any second - just because that's how the last week has gone. How did I think this could work? I don't understand my thought processes at that point, seriously.

I won't break up with him. I love him far too much to do anything retarded like that - and it's a ridiculous notion anyways.

He can't move out here - Hayden and Lindsay are pretty much out in San Diego permanently, and David won't leave them.

That leaves one option. It sounds so insane on the surface - am I even seriously considering this? But I am. I'm 75-80% decided already, as a matter of fact. When I go out to visit him next month, I'm sure my decision will be made by then, or at least during.

It sounds like I've taken total leave of my senses and any common sense I may have once retained...I've thought this through and see it as my only option. Well, I could just, you know, stay out here, and like have David visit once a month, and yes what a smart idea, go through this agony all the freaking time, because that sounds like delightful fun NOT.

In other words, that's a gay idea, screw it.

Besides, it's not like I have a reason to stay in New York. Since my rent's being raised so high I might as well be getting kicked out.

I don't know. I feel like no matter what I say I'm to be judged "irresponsible" or something for this. Well...I'd like to say I don't care, but I do. I just don't care enough to let it influence me.