bouldersandbrews: (General Beatrix)
Okay, done with the first Twilight book.


Wow. I really cannot believe that

A - someone told Stephenie Meyer that she could write.
B - someone encouraged her to continue writing.
C - someone actually published this book.
D - that millions of people love her books.

I can only assume that these people have never read Eddings, Crichton, Tolkien, Grisham, King, Hugo, Dumas, Orwell... any sort of literature at all. Anything that was written with excellent characters, a fascinating story, a fantastic turn of phrase or gifted dialogue... anything going for it at all.

As I was reading, two things continued to come to mind:

- Bad fanfiction. Not just ordinary bad fanfiction. Bad fanfiction on the order of 'My Immortal'.
- Plan 9 From Outer Space.

It really seems like a parody of itself, the Twilight 'saga'. Takes itself way too seriously. "His smoldering eyes peered into mine, and I forgot how to breathe under the gaze of his perfection". Really? Wow.

I'm wondering if I could write this badly if I tried.
bouldersandbrews: (Default)
So I'm bored doing my guild tasks (no, I mean really bored), and I decide that I need something to do while doing guild tasks (or rather waiting for them to be done). I think about it - Chrono Trigger? Nah. I want to read something. My book is upstairs though. Too lazy to get up and go get it. So I look online for somewhere to read books online free. Come across I'm like ooh, this is promising. They have their e-reader open and they automatically have a book loaded onto it. It's the first Twilight book.

Now, this is how lazy I'm feeling this morning. It's there. It's already loaded. Again, really lazy. So I just start reading it.


I am completely unimpressed so far. Mind you, I was prepared to be unimpressed, so this is unsurprising. But damn, how can people like this crap? It's not the worst writing I've ever seen, but it's definitely at the low end of the spectrum.

Edit: Oh my word. This book is so hilariously bad. I don't think I've ever read a book that made me lol as often as this one is.


bouldersandbrews: (Default)
Boulders And Brews

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