Crap!

Jan. 5th, 2013 02:21 pm
bouldersandbrews: (Basch - Lonely Soul)
Apparently I'm talking to Mom tomorrow. FML. I'm oddly terrified. Because I know this is going to cause me some serious pain because I know it's not going to go well. Hell, that's way too positive. I know this is going to go very very badly.

VERY badly.

Yes, 'oddly terrified' seems pretty apt.

UGH. Not cool. Not even close to cool. My sister is lucky that I love her very much, because I don't think she realizes just how much she's asking of me here.

Best case scenario, which will occur only in dreamland: Mom admits responsibility to everything I have to say, apologizes sincerely for screwing me up, and is magically transformed into the perfect mother. (And since I'm dreaming here...) She then tells me that I'm the long-lost princess of some heretofore unknown district country whatever in Germany, and that Dave and I are heirs to a massive fortune. We then dance off into the sunset.

...

Worst case scenario: She... I... I don't even know. Everything I'm envisioning taking place tomorrow is a worst-case scenario. There's no way this goes well. No way at all. I mean, I'll probably die of a heart attack if any part of it at all goes even slightly less than awful. Mom's superemotional and will take all of what I have to say on an emotional level, she'll get hurt and pissy and angry, and - and -

This is such a bad idea. I should not be doing this. My emotional state is far better than it used to be, but even then I'm not sure I can deal with the probable outcome of tomorrow.

Crap!

FINE. Damn.

Jan. 3rd, 2013 02:26 pm
bouldersandbrews: (Ursula - Yeah right)
I don't want to do this. But realizing that it's Thursday, and I'm talking to Mom next week... I have to make a list of what I need to say to her, to refer to, so I don't forget anything (or worse, get all emotional and spastic and... uh, forget things).

I'll put it all behind a cut so you can skip it if you like. Can't blame you if you do skip it. It's my life and I want to skip this part of it.

Do yourself a favor, skip it. No seriously. )

Ugh! I can't take any more of this right now.

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