FINE. Damn.

Jan. 3rd, 2013 02:26 pm
bouldersandbrews: (Ursula - Yeah right)
I don't want to do this. But realizing that it's Thursday, and I'm talking to Mom next week... I have to make a list of what I need to say to her, to refer to, so I don't forget anything (or worse, get all emotional and spastic and... uh, forget things).

I'll put it all behind a cut so you can skip it if you like. Can't blame you if you do skip it. It's my life and I want to skip this part of it.

Do yourself a favor, skip it. No seriously. )

Ugh! I can't take any more of this right now.
bouldersandbrews: (Ursula - Yeah right)

Of course not. Real easy not to nag people when you never talk to them.

Good thing I'm not bitter or anything.

Yes, we all have different last names now, and they're all different than the original one we all had. Maybe this isn't as strange as it seems to me :P
bouldersandbrews: (Default)
So Jess and I are Skyping Wednesday, and as always the conversation turns to Mom.

As I've mentioned, I haven't talked to her in about two months now. And I feel right about it, like this is the right decision. I shouldn't have to force myself to talk to someone who has done so much to me.

Anyway, Jess and I are talking, and she mentions that she's been trying to get Mom to talk to me. Not just the surface bullshit chatter that has been the total sum of our relationship for three years now - really talk, as in taking responsibility for what she's done to me. And Mom's response basically consists of:

I don't want to talk to her, and she doesn't want to talk to me.

Dave has been rubbing off on me, in that it takes me a while to process things. Or else the busyness of the past few days has delayed my response in this. But I've begun to process it, and -

What the hell?

I mean, apparently she's owned up to Jess about her total, complete failures as a mother - in regards to Jess. Which is good! When Jess told me this it gave me a little bit of hope that maybe - just maybe - Mom was finally - finally! - beginning to realize what she needed to do to keep her daughters at least somewhat close to her. But this? I don't want to talk to her, and she doesn't want to talk to me?

Half of that is incorrect, of course. I'd love to talk to her about this - as long as she accepts responsibility finally, and doesn't try to pass it off, or make more excuses, or engage in revisionist history (as is her wont), or even try to make me take responsibility for it. But if it's just going to be more excuses, then she's right, I have no interest in talking to her.



And while I'm happy that she and Jess have finally come to terms - it pisses me off that she refuses to do the same for me. While Jess certainly got screwed by Mom in the parenting department, Mom screwed me even more. AND SHE WON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

New rule: If I start ranting in capital letters, it's time to stop ranting.
bouldersandbrews: (Auron - Badass)
Jessica Purser
Back when I was in perfect shape, I did yogalaties.
I swear by that, and stair stepping.
Stair stepping will kick your ass,but it's fun and works your thighs and buns.
Christina Rothwell
...I have no idea what that is.
Not stairstepping, I know what that is.
Jessica Purser
yoga and pilates.
Christina Rothwell
Jessica Purser
Put together
so it's soothing while you're mentally screaming haha
i never once got used to yogalates, and I did it every day for two years
Christina Rothwell
Wow, I need to look into this.
Ask my fitness guru about it.
Jessica Purser
it's up your alley.
Christina Rothwell
Sitting on my ass with a beer and a game is up my alley.
Jessica Purser
and this is why you're my sister. besides, you know, being biologically related.

Truer words were never spoken.
bouldersandbrews: (Sailor Pluto - Dead Scream)
My head hurts. Bet you couldn't tell that from my subject line, though. :P

It has been a busy month.

Wow, I don't even know where to begin. Here are my major talking (typing?) points, though, and maybe I'll get through them:

New car.
New place.
Balboa Park.
Passover etc.
TMI type stuff.
That might be all, we'll see.

So new car. The HMS was making funny noises, so Dave took it in to the mechanic, and it died a block before it got there. The engine was terminal, so we decided that, rather than get the HMS a new engine, it was time to buy a new car. Long story short, we're now driving a thus-far-unnamed Buick Century. Which runs. Nicely. And it's comfortable. And it looks cool.

Next... new place. So after the HMS died, we decided we needed to cut expenses (since either way, whether we fixed the HMS or bought a new car, it would be about the same amount, which was more than we could afford), and our place, while wonderful, is more than we can afford, so we started place-hunting again... long story short, Larry the Landlord knocked the rent back a bit, I'm going to get a part-time job, so we're staying here.

So Dave's brother Greg was arrested last month on a twenty-year-old DUI charge, he was extradited to California, so we've been going up on Friday nights, staying at Dave's mom's, and Dave and Cathy have been visiting Greg in the morning. Not a bad thing at all, just tiring, because it's almost a two-hour drive up and back. Apparently Greg's doing well, by the way, and we're hoping the judge will throw this out, since after the DUI Greg stopped breaking the law completely and it was twenty years ago.

Balboa Park. Hayden's been doing this parkour thing in the park every other Sunday, so since Sundays are our day with the kids, we've been going and hanging out in the park till Hayden's done parkouring. It ends up being a long day, but Balboa Park's nice. Linz and I are kind of getting a little tired of it, though, so we're trying to think up something fun to do tomorrow while Hayden's parkouring.

So Tuesday night we go up to Harold's for the Passover service (or, if you're us, it's the Lord's Supper and we just refer to it as Passover because we're... lazy? Less syllables. I dunno). Dave's excited because he's been asked to speak, and does a great job (I'm really proud of him). Drive back that night, get around the next day to have the Beatties over for Night To Be Much Observed or, The Old Testament Passover. Okay, this entire paragraph so far has been a bow in David Beattie's direction :-) Anyways, we have them over, I fail at the yams, Dave fails at the fire, but we all have fun anyway, and end up staying up way too late. Andrew stays the night with us, and the next morning we chat before he goes back home to LA.

What's next? Oh, the freaking diet of doom. So I've stopped with the garlic and the pills, and I've started with pau d'arco tea, coconut oil, and undecenoic acid. Since I have the worst memory evar, I can't say whether it's working or not, since sometimes I don't remember to take it. If I were to remember to do so, though, it might work, who knows? I really need to remember to do this, though. Honestly, how can I seriously expect to beat this thing if I don't remember to do the treatments? Blar.

The TMI is LJ-cut, I'm a merciful crazy person :P )

So my sister. I really don't even know what to say about this, but I'm obsessing. I just can't stop thinking about her. I'm sure this fact will piss her off, because she seems ultra-volatile lately, but she's my sister, and I love her, and I'm seriously worried about her. I think that's all I'm going to say about it, for now anyway.

So that might actually be everything now. I'm hungry. I know that. Yeah, so, food. Right on it.
bouldersandbrews: (Save The Queen)
Silliness follows )

Does that count as a civilized conversation? O_O


bouldersandbrews: (Default)
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